Wednesday, July 23, 2014

I think my views on beauty have changed

For Christmas my wife go me a one year subscription to Playboy.  Yes , my wife got it for me.  Have I ever told you how awesome she is?  The holy grail of spank mags comes to my house every month.  But Hef's publication isn't really a spank mag.  Its more classy art, with boobs.  And some really great articles.  And who doesn't like boobs?  And airbrushing. (more on that later)  And the articles.  They aren't half bad, either.

I have been reading and "reading" the issues.  But something isn't right.  The ole head isn't quite reacting to the beautiful, nude women's bodies like it used to.  I remember watching National Lampoons European Vacation as a kid just to get a glimpse of some boobie and being in awe of their wonderfulness.  Or even getting a glimpse of a boob in Just One Of The Guys.  (Great 80's movie where a girl changes her gender to get a job.  You should find it and watch it, but it is an 80's movie so be warned)  Boobs are really wonderful.  I now find myself reading more of the articles.  (You see, it really is true.  Guys do read it for the articles)  I am having internal conflicts with the fact that most of these girls were born after I entered high school.  (Well maybe not that young but they are very young, by this old man's standards)  I look at the fine specimen of female and search for signs of normalcy.  I look for things I find cute, sexy and adorable.  I look for things real woman have.  They have a personality.  They have a sense of humor.  They have battle scars of life; stretch marks from pregnancy or a macaroni necklace their kids made them draped around their necks.  (Dangling into their delicious cleavage.)  They do not have the most perfect body.  They do not have very perky breasts, but what fun are those after a week or two?  I can only assume these models have those flaws as well but they are just covered by an airbrush artists before the issue goes to press.  (But that guy has a job and by the looks of it he does is well)

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am the father to three girls.  Maybe it has something to do with maturity (don't start spreading the rumor that I have matured.  My street cred will take a big hit if that got out).  Perhaps the culprit is seeing what a real woman does for her family at the expense of her looks.  Real women work.  Real women stress.  Real women get pregnant and grow a child.  Most breast feed that child to give it the best nutrition on Earth.  Most women embrace their bodies no matter what they look like.  Albeit most, if not all of them, wish they looked like the girlies in the magazines.  These "real women" are the sexiest, most beautiful women on the planet.  They are the ones giving life, nurturing life, wearing their battle scars with pride.

Is it Hugh Hefner's fault women feel inferior to the girls in his magazine?  Is it society's fault that all women look to the models as a gauge of beauty?  Is it the man's fault for gawking at cover after cover, mentally banking his ideal woman, piece by piece?  They are just doing what sells.  And year after year the models get thinner and thinner.  A real woman has some meat on her bones.  She is someone who won't get blown away on a windy day if she didn't have rocks in her pockets.  A real woman has flaws.  And those flaws is what makes her beautiful.  It is also what makes her individual.  If every woman was thin, with round shapely bosoms and a perfect bottom there would be no one to stand out.  And no one would buck the trend.

So embrace your woman-friend's flaws.  That is what makes her special.  Like the old adage says:  "Shake what your momma gave ya!"

1 comment:

  1. Chris, so many of us love you so much for so various of the things you reveal in this post. You go. And we go. And if, by chance, we meet, it is beautiful.
    signed, lovingly, your sometime priest.